Failing
by Schlampcat
Summary: Sometimes love isn't enough. CS


Title: Failing  
  
Author: Schlampcat  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Please don't sue. Everything goes to CBS etc.  
  
Feedback: Yes. Please.  
  
Archive: Just ask.  
  
Summary. Sometimes love isn't enough.  
  
***  
  
How could she ever think they could make this work?  
  
Because after all, they were only two grown-up women giving in to their needs, may they be primal or not.  
  
It all had begun to go down six months ago, after the murder of Karen Logan, 24, too scared to report her abusive boyfriend to the police. They had been unable to prove his guilt despite better knowledge, despite his thigh-long police record. Sara had been withdrawn after their failure, and when Catherine had found her in the parking lot after pulling a double shift, Sara's brown eyes had been filled with tears. Eyes full of helplessness and exhaustion, and gladly she had accepted the warm embrace Catherine's arms had been offering.  
  
Eventually, her small sobs, muffled by Catherine's shoulder, had faded away, and she had slowly, reluctantly lifted her had to return to reality. But before Sara could step back, eyes still glistening in the darkness, Catherine had squeezed the brunette's shoulders reassuringly, holding her in place for a moment longer to place a gentle kiss on her cheek, and then on her forehead.  
  
Catherine had pulled back, holding Sara's eyes, a sad smile trying to pull at the corners of her mouth.  
  
At that very moment, eyes burning dryly even with the tears, senses filled with Catherine's body heat and unique scent, it had been impossible for Sara to ignore the rapid beating of her heart, or the wild mixture of feelings visible in Catherine's eyes, or the one that had to be evident in her own eyes, and before either of them had realized it Sara had pinned Catherine against the side of the car, gripping her wrists tightly, and kissed the smaller woman forcefully, bruising soft lips with her own.  
  
As unexpected as she had begun the kiss, Sara had stepped back, effectively breaking their contact, and had without further explanation climbed into her car.  
  
The first time they had sex, maybe a month later after their breakthrough in the Namara case. Somewhere between the morgue and the trace lab, they had accidentally bumped into each other, and Catherine had grabbed Sara's upper arm to steady herself. For the rest of the shift, Sara had found it impossible to keep the images of Catherine out of her head, full lips parted, cheeks flushed, and back arched.  
  
Ten hours later, when the case was closed and the paperwork done, they had barely made it to the locker room before Sara had gripped the smaller woman's wrist, yanking her around, and kissed her hard, demandingly.  
  
Sara suddenly abandoned Catherine's mouth, her lips following an irresistible path to the blonde's ear. "I take you home," she whispered, voice hoarse, lips gracing the other woman's ear shell. There was no way to doubt her seriousness, and when she got hold of Catherine's hand and all but dragged her out of the room, the smaller woman followed her willingly.  
  
The first night she spent at Catherine's house. She had fallen asleep on the couch, and when she woke up, she had been lying in Catherine's double- bed, the blonde's body protectively draped around her. She had no idea how she got there, and she doubted the smaller woman was strong enough to carry her all the way. Even though time showed Catherine was way stronger than she seemed to be.  
  
The first time having sex had changed into making love. The first time Catherine had stayed at Sara's apartment for more than a coffee and a kiss. The first time they had taken Lindsey to the zoo, the young girl walking between the two women, never letting go of their hands, and all the time she had been babbling about her day at school. The first time Sara had taken care of Catherine's daughter in her night off after the babysitter had called in sick and Catherine had to go to the lab.  
  
They had been able to keep their relationship a secret; they had arrived and left in separate cars even when they had spent their time off together, and they had hardly ever touched at work, making sure the electricity that threatened to burn them every time they were close to each other didn't show in front of their colleagues.  
  
One day, Warrick had walked in on them after shift. Sara had been holding Catherine in her arms when the blonde had felt drained and close to tears. They had made it look like a friendly embrace, hiding the fact the Catherine had been searching not only for support and warmth but also for closeness to the woman she loved. After that incident they had acted even more carefully.  
  
And now, she dumped her. Catherine had dumped her like a nobody, as if their relationship was nothing but a meaningless fling for her, a welcome distraction, simply an opportunity of sex, no strings attached. One morning, Catherine called her on the phone to tell her it was over. She offered no explanation, no answer to Sara's questions. Only these words: "It's over."  
  
Maybe, Sara wondered, being in love wasn't enough these days, maybe promising to stay together till the end of time wasn't bound to mean that you exactly do that. Maybe feeling your heartbeat rise every time you see her didn't make you the happiest couple in the world.  
  
And still, when Catherine entered the lab, telling Sara she needed her, Sara wished it were about more than just the case. 


End file.
